I Have 2 Moms (Mothers Day)

In the steamy savanna of northeast Congo, after hours of travel on a rutted dirt road, and countless hours of labor, I met my first Mom. 

In a small mission house made of burnt red brick and grass thatch, she struggled to bring me into this dusty, poverty stricken, and sweaty third world country that she loved.  She was so beautifully out of place....a white, English, nurse and midwife, whose porcelain skin contrasted sharply against the vivid colors of the deep tropical forest and lush green elephant grass.

The first time she set foot on African soil, she had come all alone on an assignment to love and care for 300 lepers.  Into this world of sights, smells, and sounds that suffocated the senses with overwhelming force, she began a medical practice. Treating an unending waterfall of diseases was a daily task, malaria, dengue fever, infections, diarrhea, leprosy, smallpox, typhoid fever, the list was unending.  Bringing healing to so many became a love that would last a lifetime.

Into this poor but richly colored world I came kicking and screaming to meet my first Mom.  This woman who had declined her cultures offers of success and fortune, to serve lepers and pregnant mothers in a God forsaken place called Congo, was my Mom!  I could hardly believe it!

I met my second Mom much later. Actually, I met her daughter first, and I caught a glimpse of my second Mom in her eyes. I saw beauty, generosity, understated kindness, and love. My second Mom was as valiant a hero and explorer as my first Mom.  Leaving the security of family and home, she moved across a nation to find work, and eventually, love.  She raised a daughter who is unlike any other woman in the world, a wonder, a mystery, a loyal friend, a lover, and my wife.

My life has been blessed by the influence of two amazing Moms.  My biological Mother, Edith Cochrane, and my Mother In Law, Marie Bohler.

So today I stand to bless you and to call attention to your heroism and courage.

I will always love you both. Marie Bohler and Edith May Cochrane. 

What If? What Now? What Next?

What If?  It's a thought process that we entertain occasionally!

What if....I was rich?
What if....I married a model?
What if....I owned a beach house?
What if....I had a better job?

Why does it seem that we generate a "better" set of circumstances than those we find ourselves in?

Unfortunately "What If" is a fantasy land, a distraction from the facts, a red herring, a mirage, a ghost.  "What If" is better defined as "What Was."   "What Was" defines the facts of our past existence until today.  "What Was" is the true and factual account of our lives.  "What Was" is not negotiable.    If we continually entertain the fantasy scenarios generated by What If, we will never concentrate on the better question....which is....What Now?

What Now is where the rubber hits the road....it is the visceral reality of our lives in the present moment.  What Now is all about today.  What Now is important because.....What Now prepares us for the most important question of all.....which is What Next?

David was the youngest son of Jesse.  David had 7 brothers, all of which were older and more experienced than he was.  In fact, David was doing a job that was one of the most menial and despised jobs in all of Israel.  He was shepherding sheep.  But....David was taking care of What Now.  He took shepherding to a new level!  When the lion and the bear came to kill his fathers sheep....he defended them at his own peril.  He was taking very good care of What Now.

As David was taking care of What Now.....Samuel came looking for him to annoint him as the next King of Israel.  What Next took care of itself!

The same can be said of many Bible leaders.  As they were faithfuly taking care of What Now....What Next took care of itself.  Abraham was just living a righteous life in a foreign country, taking care of What Now...and What Next came calling.   Peter and and Andrew were fishing.....taking care of What Now....when Jesus walked over to them and called them into What Next.

The takeaways for me are:

I waste my time rolling the dice and amusing myself with the fantasy outcomes of "What If."
I would do much better to focus my attention on What Now and make sure that What Now is being done well.
What Next is always up to God and will arrive on time.

For me, this also translates into one more blessing....as I take care of What Now.....I have peace of mind....because I know who will take care of What Next.

The Other Side of the Door

Living away from home as a young child is very difficult, mainly because you find yourself on the wrong side of the door.  

The feelings of abandonment and loneliness can be overwhelming and debilitating in the best of circumstances.  Eight years of my life  were spent living at a "boarding school", a place 500 miles from home.  I had "houseparents" who took care of me, set the schedules, rang the bells, carried out the discipline, assigned the chores....and tried to love 20 kids the best they could.  In spite of their best efforts, most of us had moments when our hearts broke and we cried....we wanted to be on the other side of the door.  

 

Maybe that is the reason why I love coming home so much.  As the end of the work day draws near, the excitement of going home begins to increase.  The best part by far, is putting your key in the door and finding everyone that you love the most....on the other side of the door.  "Daddy's home!"   It is the best feeling in the world.....living on the other side of the door. 

 

At boarding school we were on the trimester plan which meant that every 13 weeks we got to go home for 4 weeks!  Our lives changed, life was wonderful again,......for those 30 days......we were on the right side of the door.   I survived those days on the wrong side of the door because I had 90 days a year.....on the right side of the door.  

 

Children who need foster care are living on the wrong side of the door.  Agencies do their best, but there is no substitute for reuniting those children with their birth parents through a temporary stay with a loving foster family....or, adopting those children into a family of their very own.  They need to be on the right side of the door.

 

Actually, we have all lived on the wrong side of the door.  Revelations 3:20 Jesus says,  "Look!  I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends."  NLT 

 

Living on the outside of the door is a choice.  Living on the inside of the door is a choice.  Choosing to open the door to a foster child, is not just a choice, it is an act of love. 

 

There might be a child standing on the outside of your door.  Would you consider bringing them in....to the right side of the door?

Suffering Equals Credibility

My brother Andrew died of malaria. He was just 8 months old.  His fever reached 105-106F more than enough to cause brain damage.

My Mother knew.  She prayed that a loving and kind God would take him home to Heaven.

Little did we know then......what we know now.

In Congo, Africa, most families lose infants and toddlers to a whole host of opportunistic diseases.  Most families....except the white missionary families......until now.

We cried.

African families cried with us.....they knew our pain....they had lost children too....many had lost multiple children.

As the African women comforted my Mother they said, "When you first came to us you were just a worthless young single woman, but then you married a man.  We rejoiced with you because now you, like us, understood the joy and the sorrows of living with a man.  Later, you had a baby son, and we rejoiced with you because now, like us, you had endured the pain and experienced the joy of childbirth.  We were happy for you.

But you were not quite complete until you experienced the death of your child....today you are a complete woman.

From that day on, African women listened to my Mother, they received her advice and teaching with open hearts and minds.  She was considered trustworthy.  She was fully accepted in the African community.  She was credible.  As a result, my Mothers ministry was accepted, trusted, received, empowered and multiplied.

Why?  Because of suffering.  Without the death of my brother, my Mothers ministry would not have been empowered in the minds and hearts of African women.

To be credible in ministry, we must have experienced loss.   Suffering bridges the gap between the message and the man or woman who hears it.  Jesus was a "Man of sorrows and was acquainted with grief."   Jesus was credible....because he had experienced suffering himself.

What can I learn here?  What is the "takeaway?"

It's this:  Suffering equals credibility in the ministry.  Let your suffering make you credible.

Do we miss Andrew?  Yes.

I named my son Andrew in honor of his Uncle....and so that my Mom and Dad could catch a glimpse of what might have been on Earth.....until in Heaven, the tears run dry and we are all together again.

In the town of Isiro, Congo....there is a small grave....but for miles around there are families whose lives were changed by the message of the Gospel because suffering and loss made the Gospel credible!

CHRISTIAN? You're kidding right?

 I recently found this "Pastor" online job posting from a church that is looking for new pastoral leadership.  It was so strange, so disconnected from the Father God I know.

Quote: Please make sure you read all of the information thoroughly before contacting us. This is where we stand. We are not here to debate, argue, answer questions or get advice!!!!  If you meet these qualifications feel free to contact us.  If you fail to meet these qualifications please do not waste our time.

We are currently looking for a Bishop for our church in (name redacted).  Our church is very small and NOT looking for   "rapid growth ."  We simply want to hold fast to Biblical principals and not traditions!

We believe in biblical words such as Pastor, Bishop, Deacon etc. We Reject titles such as Reverend, Doctor, Minister, and Scholar. Reverend is used once in the bible and it is referring to God so unless you're God... Simply put don't give yourself a stupid name and we won't call you by it.

We believe that salvation is through faith and faith ALONE!  We do not believe in repentance of sins to be saved, to be a good person, or to go to church.   We believe that the Holy Spirit DOES NOT Convict you of sins!  It is NO WHERE in the bible unless you are reading an NIV. Salvation is not about emotion; it is about your FAITH.

We believe in Door to Door Soul winning as thee only biblical method to reach the lost. Tracts, Street Preaching, and Life Style Evangelism are all unscriptural and will never work.

We reject the false teaching of the pre-tribulation Rapture. We believe that Gods people always have and always will go through tribulation. The Great tribulation is not God pouring out his wrath.

We believe that God put in his word everything we needed to know, and he didn't write a sequel. We are 100% King James ONLY! We do not consult the History books to see if Man is smarter than God.

In addition to this we believe in a single church. No Sunday schools, Nurseries, Youth Groups etc. We also believe Bible colleges, Christian Schools, etc are biblically incorrect. You DO NOT have to be ordained by a bible college to be a Pastor considering it is NO WHERE in the qualifications! Also we believe that the church should not be selling ANYTHING and that includes an Education. Why do you think Jesus threw tables in the temple? TWICE!!!!!

We believe the women are to have NO PART in the Teaching at church! A woman is to keep SILENT during the Teaching and Preaching. This DOES NOT forbid a woman from singing.

We also believe the King James is the inspired word of God in English! We do not believe in going back to the Greek, Hebrew, Chaldean, Sand Script, Native American Cave paintings, or Finger Paintings by children to   "interpret   " Gods word.   God can speak English just fine and since he promised to preserve his word there is no need to go outside the English language to find it.

Once again do not contact us if you are not interested in the position. Any questions, comments, rude remarks, or suggestions will be considered as an application since that is all we are looking for! If you are looking for an argument find a tree and maybe you will win!  End Quote.

 This posting is so confusing to me.  Is this how Jesus approached people during his ministry?  Jesus ate and drank with "publicans and sinners",  dined with hated tax collectors, healed outcast lepers, spoke with prostitutes, welcomed questioners like Nicodemus, and finally....with his last few breaths welcomed a thief....hanging on a cross.....into Paradise.

This isn't the Jesus I know.   I was a Prodigal Son who's Father welcome him back home with open arms, new clothes, a hot meal, and new friends.  I don't see that Jesus here.   This ad for a Pastor...made me sad.

I didn't apply for the position.  

PUZZLE PIECES

Have you seen those completed puzzles that have been framed and matted?

10,000 magnificent pieces all in their correct place, each complementing the panoramic scene that is the artist's vision.

I saw one the other day...a magnificent landscape with areas of dark and light, sun and shade. Some areas were bursting with colors, bright and vivid, while others were quite drab, subdued, almost monotone.

.....And inside of me a thought popped up...."That is a picture of the Kingdom."

1) Each puzzle piece is unique in size, shape and color. No two pieces are completely alike.

2) Each puzzle piece complements the others. There is a harmonious "fit" when a piece is placed in right relationship to it's peers.

3) Every single puzzle piece is valuable. A puzzle that includes all 10,000 pieces is valuable. A puzzle with 9,999 pieces is almost worthless.

4) Each puzzle piece contributes to the common goal and final vision of the creator.

5) When just one piece in 10,000 pieces is lost, misplaced, or otherwise absent from the whole, the vision is spoiled and incomplete.

1 Corinthians 12:27 "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it."

We are not all eyes, or hands, or feet....and if we were, how would the whole benefit and what would the final vision be? And why is there division and disunity over what kind of puzzle piece we may be...or want to be?

We must encourage each puzzle piece to discover it's size, color, calling and gifting. We must encourage each one to take their place in the Kingdom.... completing the intended vision of the creator.

I'd Rather Fly a Kite!

When I was a boy growing up in Africa, the temperature at 7,200 feet was a constant 70-80 degrees year round and the winds were mild, ideal weather for flying a kite.

As a kid, we made our own kites out of dried sticks, plastic bags, scotch tape and lightweight nylon string. They flew amazingly well, sometimes so high in the sky that you could hardly see them with the naked eye. Sometimes so high that they flew when the winds at the surface were calm.

I loved those days, carefree, footloose, and as an adult I remember the sheer happiness and joy that flying my kite gave me.

In America we live in a very autonomous, self determining culture where everyone is driven by the tyranny of becoming....rather than just being. There's nothing wrong with growth, progress, or success.....but sometimes just "being" is the best plan.

What if we all decided just to be.......what if we decided to fly a kite..........?

Some of the great things about kites....are really about us.

1) The kite was a part of us. We built it. It contained our personality, our character, our DNA. It represents us....it's almost as if we can fly.

2) We hold onto the string. We hold onto the string and when the kite is low we have a lot of control, but as the kite flies higher our control becomes less and the winds control becomes greater.

3) We let out more string. As the wind takes the kite higher, we grow by letting out more string, the uncertainty of what might become of the kite increases the higher it goes but so does the pleasure and excitement of flying it.

4) We fix our eyes on the kite. We would stand for hours watching our kites fly first this way then that way....it was a wonder that we never tired of.

So what is the point here?

What if we lived our lives like we were flying a kite?

1) What if we believed that God has made each of us to fly, each of us with our own DNA, personality, and characteristics...each one of us uniquely important to his Kingdom?

2) What if we understood that to begin with we must hold the string.....but that as we rise higher God begins blowing us this way and that way, causing our lives to fly with his purpose and his design, taking us to places and heights we have never known?

3) What if the longer we fly our kite the more string we let out.....the more insecure we become in our abilities and the more we lean on Gods ability.

4) Finally, as we watch our kite flying under the influence of the wind of God.....we realize things that would have never happened if we had chosen not to fly our kite.

The church sometimes says that we cannot be involved in ministry unless we fit into a traditional mold, look a certain way, or do ministry the way it has always been done. Sometimes that is good....but not always.

What about the "kite flyers" in the Bible?

Abraham.....just flying his kite, minding his business.....and God came along with a sky high adventure...."How would you like to fly your kite in a country you knew nothing about?"

David....just flying his kite.....watching his fathers sheep......when a prophet comes, finds him, and anoints him King of Israel!

All the people in the Bible were kite flyers......when God came along and took them on a sky high adventure.

So, I'm not agonizing, and frantically searching for the next step in my life. My next step is up to God....I'm just keeping my eyes on Him.

I'm not being insincere, I'm just flying a kite.

I'm holding onto my end of the string, watching my kite intently....leaning on God's ability. I know that God is kind and has everything under control....even the wind. And when that gust of wind comes along that takes my kite into a hard right turn....I'll feel the tug and know that God is leading me into the next phase of this sky high adventure.

SMALL or BIG.....What Size Is Your God?

I thought this was worth thinking about. See if you agree.

I don’t know about you but I’ve spent most of my life making myself bigger than God.

My problems.
My feelings.
My husband.
My children.
My friends.
My dreams.
My job.
My money.
My body.
My hair.
My health.
My meals.
My strengths.
My weaknesses.
My sins.
My success.
My calendar.
My past.
My future.
My life.
Me, me and more me.

Why?

Because I had a small view of God and a big view of me. I became my god.

Me, first.

God, second.

Day after day, I lived for me, while trying to love God. Something was off. I was planet size and God was a resort destination spot in my world. I had life all backwards.

In order for God to be big in my heart, soul, and mind, big enough for my problems, feelings, and my entire life, I need to become small.

The beautiful thing is God is faithfully answering my prayers over time. I’ve prayed for Him to show Himself to me more and more. And as He does, God’s love is growing and taking up space in my life where there was once only room for me. He is big, beyond huge. And I am small, very small.

Shrinking is a good thing for someone like me. Expanding God’s place in my heart and mind is a good thing.

So tell me how big is your God today? When you look at this picture, who’s in the “big” position? You or God?

Think God isn’t big enough for your problems? Think again.

“Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you,” Jeremiah 32:17(NIV).

Thank you, Father God, for invading my world. Thank You for making my heart Your destination spot. You are big. You love with big love. Remind me of Your size when I am tempted to doubt You. Remind me nothing is too hard for You. Help me resist trying to take Your place as big. It’s easy to fall back to what I know so well. I’m always tempted to be big, but I know You’ve designed me to live small. I’m learning to be okay with that. The best part of being small is knowing I fit safely in the palm of Your hand. Please teach little me to love You and others big. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Tiffany at Tea with Tiffany

The Parenting Formula

There is no formula for raising kids....or is there?

We bang our heads against this wall....wanting to be great parents but not really knowing how.

WHY?

Because we are all parents for the first time!

Even when it's child number three.....they all come with special challenges!

BUT.......

Whatever the case may be......here is the best formula for raising kids that I have ever seen. (Thanks Pastor Aumack)

The "STAGES OF PARENTING"

1) DISCIPLINE: Age 0-5. Setting rules and guidelines.
2) TRAINING: Ages 6-12. Setting the example and training. They are watching you.
3) COACHING: Ages 13-19. They are in the game and you coach from the sidelines.
4) FRIENDSHIP: Ages 20 and up. You become friends because you have turned them loose to
become the person God created them to be.

It's a great starting place......now, get out there and be the best parent you can be.

PS: Taking God along on the parenting journey helps alot! Really.

"What's The BIG Idea?"

We are all looking for a BIG idea....the one that will change everything. The BIG idea that will make our marriage work better, improve the relationship we have with our kids, our friends and our boss.

BIG ideas shape our thoughts, our lives and our world.....even our politics.

What is the BIG Idea?

For most of the second half of the 20th century, 4 Big Ideas shaped world politics:

1) Peace is better than war.

God has a BIGGER IDEA: Personal Peace.

Psalm 4:8 I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD make me dwell in safety.

2) Capitalism is better than socialism.

God has a BIGGER IDEA: Personal Wealth

Proverbs 24: 3-4 By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

3) Democracy is better than dictatorship.

God has a BIGGER IDEA: Personal Freedom

John 8:36-37 Jesus said, "I tell you most solemnly that anyone who chooses a life of sin is trapped in a dead-end life and is, in fact, a slave. A slave is a transient, who can't come and go at will.

God’s Son, though, has an established position, and the run of the house. So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.

4) Western culture is better than all the rest.

God has a BIGGER IDEA: Personal Equality

1 Corinthians 8:5-6

⁵For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords"), ⁶yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.

APPLICATION: BIG ideas are great. God has BIG ideas that will revolutionize our lives like the Ford revolutionized transportation. Get a hold of God and His BIG idea for your life.